ESPN is gayer than John Amaechi taking it to the hole

Is there really anything worse for sports than ESPN right now?

I pose that question knowing full well that ESPN is an infotainment kind of thing with the goal to inform viewers of the goings on in sports while attempting to entertain them at the same time. The entertainment is obvious in the form of the many live sporting events that are shown daily. Along with those are sports discussion shows that are intended to entertain and inform with witty banter and opinions from experts.

The information is omnipresent in the form of a news ticker and it's own network simply to relay the sporting news of the day, all day. With the way everything is set up, you can learn of the entire day's news and events from the sports world by just an hour and a half to an hour of Sportscenter.

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Well... all of that is what ESPN would like you to believe. In reality, most of things are true, but in ESPN's effort to inform, they forgot one of the main rules about talking heads, they're normally biased and wrong. With the popularity of ESPN this has become devastating to the sports viewing world. Those with very little understanding on how the sports world runs will tune in to ESPN nightly and have their opinions morphed and developed into exactly what ESPN wants you to believe. ESPN wants you to believe Barry Bonds is really important enough to warrant a mention when he goes 0 for 4 with two strikeouts in a game that the Giants lose, they feel it necessary for you to know that T.O. sneezed at training camp.

They give you far too much information about stuff you really don't care about but give you said information so much that it gets lodged in your mind and you start to actually give a damn... or you just yell at the TV like I do.

I am a sports fan, I enjoy watching sports and trying to understand and enjoy the many intricacies of any game in which I am viewing. ESPN is a network intended for those who do not enjoy watching the game like I do, it's for those who like watching the game and being told what's going on. It's like going through life holding your father's hand the entire way through as he leads you from one place to another, one experience to another. At first it's great to have everything in the world explained to you, but after awhile you want to experience things for yourself. To view the world the way it is without having someone point out everything.

Hold, that's a horrible analogy. In life, you outgrow the father's explanations because you believe him to be incorrect but later on through live you realize that your old man was right all along. No, that is in absolutely no way like ESPN. ESPN is more like your mom teaching you how to drive but she remains in the car with you even after you've mastered the skill but she still insists on telling you what to do every time. You grow out of the phase of needing your mother to drive, but you still do it incorrectly and your mother was wrong because she is a woman, and women can't drive.

ESPN is like your mother teaching you how to drive. Now that's an insult.

Now I know what you're thinking... you're thinking "What the hell difference does it make? I am a well-informed, knowledgeable fan and I don't use ESPN as a means to learn, I simply get scores and whatever else I feel like watching for. It affects me in no way."

Well, that might be true person who doesn't exist, but the vast majority of people who do watch ESPN are heavily influenced by it without even realizing it in the worst possible way.

The main problem with ESPN's lock on the sports viewing world is the "experts" in their employ. Almost all of them are idiots.

Skip Bayless, Jim Rome, Jay Marriotti, Woody Page, Bob Ryan, Tony Reali, Joe Morgan, Chris Berman, John Kruk, Steven A. Smith... must I continue? These are a whole lot of people, for one reason or another, who have risen up to the ranks in ESPN and are regulars on numerous shows throughout the day where they do nothing but spew idiocy and declare their ideas as the truth. Mind you, this is an abridged list, there are many more idiots at ESPN. What makes it worse is that this style of analyst has become the staple, calling play-by-play or what have you in sporting events is no longer art that it once was, and with every year that passes, more and more of the wordsmiths of yesteryear die off leaving an ESPN influenced idiot in their wake.

So now ESPN's brand of misinformation has spread to practically all other stations in an attempt to better connect and get better ratings from the ESPN audiences. Leading to, of course, dumber fans.

Dumb fans lead to dumb fan bases, which leads to fans becoming enraged by a smart move made by their favorite sports team because ESPN's talking heads disagree with the move which leads to decreased revenue for the team which leads to organizations watching ESPN to base their own moves on.

This is, of course, speculation, but I can't help but feel that it's accurate.

ESPN fans are fans that will jump on the bandwagon of any player or team that ESPN has deemed good or exciting. To (finally) put it bluntly, ESPN is filled with idiots, and ESPN fans are idiots.

So basically, ESPN is gay like Brady Quinn. They'll never admit to it, but it's obvious to anyone who is paying attention that it's true.