Just when you thought that crazy asshole Elijah Dukes couldn't get into more trouble, the St. Petersburg Times is reporting that Elijah has now dispersed some of his baby gravy in none other than an underaged Foster child that was staying at his step-grandmother's house. The Times reports that the sex was "consensual" and "no crime was committed." My favorite part of the story is that it goes on to tell that the sex happened "on the living room sofa." Now that's quality journalistic material and brings a certain factual integrity that the St. Petersburg Times needs. I'm actually surprised that Dukes had enough class to slip his seed on his grandmother's sofa. I took him for being more of a back of a stolen '91 Toyota Corolla guy. The article mentions that when Dukes was told that he was the father, he threw a Gatorade bottle at her. To be fair, the manner of the throwing of the Gatorade is not mentioned, it could have been that Dukes was meaning to christen his new baby's momma with gatorade, showering her vulva with the drink of champions. Dukes has really shown range with his arrests and behavior. He's been arrested for assault, resisting an officer, possession of marijuana, had a restraining order from his wife put on him for threatening to kill her and their children, and coming this winter, will be his sixth child from 5 different women. There really is no parallel athlete on the planet. He's turning into a fun amalgamation of Mike Tyson, Damon Stoudamire, and Shawn Kemp.
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